I used to be Alex, but now I am Ms. G

I used to be Alex, but now I am Ms. G

— Alexandra Glinsbockel

Identity. A simple word – 8 letters, 4 syllables. Yet it may well be one of the most elusive constructs in the world. Defined by the Oxford English Dictionary as “the condition of being a single individual; individuality [and] personality,” identity is a foundation of knowledge, for it can be the basis for knowing oneself and knowing others.

What’s your name? How do you identify? What makes you the person that you are?

Who are you?

Shakespeare said, “This above all: to thine own self be true” (Hamlet. 1. 3. 79). Rarely does it seem that simple.

I used to be Alex…

Alex was/is a perpetual learner. A lifelong student. She listens, observes, and contemplates. Through this process, she forms beliefs, ideals, and expectations. She is confident, passionate, and optimistic. With a love of literature and the classics, Alex reads everything and anything she can. She is dedicated to her family and friends yet she works a bit too much and struggles with balance in her life. She is unique.

Alex is motivated by a dream; a dream sees her through an overwhelming workload and restless nights.  As she meets each challenge, the glimmer of her goal gets brighter and brighter.. Her goal is to live her vocation.

Alex has a solid grasp of her identity. She was the child, then the teenager and now she is the student striving towards the next step. Alex knows her “own self.”

…but now I am Ms. G

Ms. G is an unknown. She is a letter, not a name; a sound, not a word. She knows her vocation. She knows the terrain she must travel to reach her destination. But Ms. G. doesn’t yet know the rules of the game. She is holding six cards and is unsure of when to draw and when to fold.

Alone in a room brimming full of young people, Ms. G is trying to figure out what might makes her stand out.… what makes her different. She is trying to locate that one element that makes her special, unique, and memorable. She wants to know herself in this role. She longs for the confidence and skills to  guide and inspire and educate others. She imagines and hopes to be a teacher who can open her students’  eyes to the world and at the same time to challenge their expectations. Ms. G. is trying to find her “own self.”

I used to be Alex, but now I am learning to become Ms. G.

No longer the student, not yet the teacher. I do not know the boundaries, limitations, and borders of my new position in life. My identity is swathed in a cocoon, only just beginning to emerge fresh and fragile and new. Perhaps this is the point after all. Perhaps we are all meant to find ourselves, and then lose ourselves in new endeavors and dreams, only to find ourselves once more. Perhaps this is the cycle of life… seeking and chasing, and never settling. Pushing the borders, challenging the known, reaching for the unknown, questioning the purpose… perhaps this is life in its purest form.

Perhaps… I am neither Alex, nor Ms. G. Perhaps I live in between the known and the unknown, the visible and the invisible. Perhaps I can be the student and the teacher, the optimist and the realist, the spontaneous and the practical.

 “This above all: to thine own self be true.”

Perhaps…

Many thanks to Alexandra Glinsbockel for her thoughtful reflection.

Meet Alexandra Glinsbockel

Rooted in faith and in passion, I am an aspiring secondary school teacher currently living in Burnaby, British Columbia, Canada. A recent graduate from Saint Marks College with a Bachelor of Arts in Theology and Culture, I am currently a Teacher Candidate at the University of British Columbia in the Bachelor of Education doing my practicum at a North Vancouver secondary school.  Ranging from travel to reading, education to writing, my hobbies perpetuate my passion for people and for community. Ultimately, I find inspiration in beloved books, steamy cappuccinos, and live theatre. My philosophies in life are articulated best by F. Scott Fitzgerald, “I want to go places and see people. I want my mind to grow. I want to live where things happen on a big scale,” and Robert Frost, “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I- / I took the one less traveled by, / And that has made all the difference.”

You can follow and connect with Alexandra through comments below and at
Twitter: @aglinsbockel ; Website: aglinsbockel.wordpress.com

Questions to Consider

Who are you? Where are you along the journey from lifelong learner to educator and back again?  How did you manage the shifting identity of moving from student to teacher? What would you tell someone at my stage of the game? What do you wish someone had told you?

Write to Alexandra in the comment box bel0w — she’d love to hear from you.

Send Us Your Reflections

We invite you to send in your thoughts on teaching, the teacher’s life or reflect on a poem. Here are some guidelines and suggestions and a submission form. Or contact us directly at teachingwithheartfirepoetry.com.